What is the best beer koozie? – The gift that keeps on giving
Let’s face it, with few exceptions, warm beer is terrible! Sure, you just pulled your favorite sudsy libation out of the fridge and into your steamy 97° hand, or on a table where it stews at room temperature. Now the clock is running. How long before that lovely “happy juice” turns against you and you’re left with half of a warm, barely drinkable shell of a beverage?
Your beer, just like you, needs shelter. (Did the Rolling Stones just pop up in your mind? Just me, huh?) Anyway, your beer needs a koozie, stat! So, what’s the best beer koozie? So glad you asked.
Spilling Beer Is The Adult Equivalent to Losing a Balloon
Here I’ve gone through what I feel are some of the best keep-your-beer-cold devices available. There are hundreds of examples out there using technology like “double-walled” and “vacuum sealed,” not to mention integrated bottle openers and even the option to convert between bottles and cans. I’ve narrowed it down to only a few and have listed them below in no particular order.
I’ll go over the pros and cons of each so you can make the best choice for your beer and you. (The research was difficult and time-consuming. Nevermind, I was going to drink the beer anyway… You don’t have to drive me to drink, I certainly know the way.)
Disclosure: If you make a purchase from some links in this post, I may earn a referral fee at no cost to you.
The Rocket, by ORCA
Yup, I said I wasn’t going to put these in any particular order. Well, I lied. This one is the hands-down winner for me. It does everything, pretty much. The ORCA Rocket even keeps all the pieces integrated together so you don’t misplace any of your much-needed components. More on that later.
First, the details:
- Metal body parts made from 18/8 stainless steel (which is good)
- Plastic parts made of a tough polymer (also good)
- Main body (lower part) is double-walled, vacuum-sealed AND copper lined.
Will not build up condensation (your mahogany table will thank you)
- Keeps beverages cold up to 12 hours
- Securely holds most bottles AND cans (12oz standard size)
Let me just jump right into the ridiculous fact that this device can keep your beer cold for 12 hours. TWELVE HOURS. I’d like to tell you that I tested this time frame for accuracy. But, you see, I’m a beer-drinker, not a beer-sitter. I wouldn’t make it that long if I was in a coma.
What I can attest to is being outdoors with the sun beating down on my Rocket to the point that it was almost too hot to hold, yet the goodness cocooned inside was still frosty and lovely. Although most of the keep-cold technology is only in the base, it still performs beyond comprehension.
The rocket is unique in the way that all the pieces fit together. For example, when in “can-mode” (love it!) the neck that would protect a beer bottle from heat attaches to the bottom of the Rocket giving it its “rocket” look and name. The cap even fits inside the neck so it doesn’t get lost while you’re trying to remember how the scoring works in Cornhole. (Yes, the other team is probably cheating.) And there’s even a sturdy bottle opener in the interchangeable base.
A few points of criticism:
- You can get the Rocket in any color you want, as long as it’s stainless steel and black
- The base can be tricky to screw into the receiver (bottom)
- The bottle opener is on the bottom which can be problematic depending on where you’re resting your Rocket between sips. (Sand at the beach, for example)
- Most long neck bottles will fit, but not all
- Those with small hands need not apply – this thing is tall AND girthy!
- Tall 12oz cans don’t hold their temp well with the Rocket and will fall right out of “can-mode” (BEER DOWN!!)
Just for fun, the Rocket comes with a faux can that contains directions (weird, but you’ll need those) stickers, and a permanent marker to label your Rocket. (Ya know, once you buy one for everyone you know, you’ll want to be able to single your Rocket out from the crowd, I guess.)
Wanna test it out yourself? You can get your very own Rocket here
asobu Frosty Beer Can Cooler
I don’t know what an “asobu” is or what it means, but my guess is “killer beer koozie” in some exotic language. Like the Rocket, the asobu handles bottles and cans and comes with an integrated bottle opener, although it’s in a more sanitary spot.
- Metal body parts made from stainless steel (Doesn’t specify grade, but we’re talking about a koozie here, not a life saving device)
- Plastic parts made of a tough polymer
- Main body (lower part) is double-walled and vacuum sealed
- Will keep your hard-earned beverage cold for hours on end
- Zero condensation build up on exterior (no more wet rings)
- Seems to hold just about any 12-ish ounce bottle or can securely (Even the weird tall thin cans. Stella anyone?)
- Just the right size for just about any hand size
- Comes in several colors/styles
This koozie is simple and it works well. It has only 4 pieces, is logical to use (no directions needed) and looks nice, too. All the pieces screw together and apart with ease and the bottle opener is on the top-most piece! Which is great, but, this top piece is made of silicone and kinda “snaps” onto the neck of the device instead of screwing onto it. (It’s only a matter of time before I lose this piece. Speaking of which.. Where did it go?)
The asobu doesn’t have a system to stow the pieces you’re not using like the Rocket, but it has far fewer pieces to keep track of. (Like, 4)
Points of contention:
- I have the all black variety of the asobu, and let me tell ya, the sun takes advantage of it. This thing gets hot in the sun! (Beer stays cold, though. So there’s that)
- The bottle opener seems to “give” too much when operating it. It takes 2-3 tries to pop the top off a bottle. Maybe it’s me. Maybe there’s a technique to it. (There shouldn’t be)
- The powder-coating on the base seems to only allow for so much abuse, then it starts to abandon its bond with the stainless steel (This is probably nit-picking)
- The only insulating portion of this koozie is the base, the rest is plastic and doesn’t do much in the way of insulation. (Really, though, most of your sauce is in the base anyway. All of it when using a standard sized can)
- Don’t forget where you placed the pieces you’re currently not using. They tend to walk away if not in a safe place, and let’s face it, you’re drinking beer over here, not ginkgo biloba juice
With different color choices, excellent performance and functionality you just can’t go wrong with the asobu Frosty Beer Can Cooler. And it has a butt-load of positive reviews on Amazon! Seeforyourself here
Beer Bottle and Can Cooler by North Hart
This koozie is a little more obscure than the others above, but it still holds its own among the best. The minimalist design and attention to detail almost all other koozies overlook makes this device unique in its own right.
- Body made from stainless steel
- 2-piece construction
- Both bottom and top pieces are sturdy stainless steel
- Both pieces are double-walled and vacuum sealed
- Will keep your beverage cold for hours on end
- Zero condensation build up on exterior (no more wet rings)
- Fits standard bottles and cans (I have yet to find a 12oz bottle that doesn’t fit, even long-necks)
- Exterior is textured for a firm grip (So you don’t, ummm, lose control of your beverage)
- Whaaaaaaat!!! Fit’s in standard cup holders!! (Don’t drink and drive, people)
Relatively new to the keep-your-beer-cold industry, this device works really well considering its size. By far the slimmest insulated koozie I’ve seen as even the traditional foam koozies don’t fit in cup holders.
This is accomplished by insulating the entire body of the koozie, not just the bottom like the others above. By going this route, North Hart was able to focus on slimming the unit rather than having to double down on insulating just the bottom portion.
What could be better:
- Available in everybody’s favorite color: Black. Only. Yes – it gets friggin’ hot in the sun!
- No cap. Even though I’d probably lose it anyway
- No integrated bottle opener. (You have one on your key chain, don’t you?)
- Tall 12-ish ounce cans aren’t held well in this unit, best stick with standard size cans
Although the minimalist design does its job well, this device just doesn’t have the bells and whistles the other koozies do. That might not be important to you – if not, this just might be the device for you! It’ll keep your yummy liquids cold for longer than you should ever need, keep your hand warm and dry and do it in style!
What is the best beer koozie? These are!
I tell ya, you can’t go wrong with either of these jewels! If keeping your beer at the right temperature is important (if not, why are you here Clarence?) then choose one of these high-tech koozies that fits you and your beer’s lifestyle and drink up, buttercup!
(I think I’m a little dehydrated from all this “research”)